18 things no-one says on holiday

A lot of things can happen on a holiday, and you may find yourself saying “Yes” to things you’d never dream of in the Real World (hello, deep-fried tarantulas). But here are 18 things I bet Holiday You would never say.

1. “I think I’ll just have one breakfast today.”
Not when there’s a delicious hotel brekky buffet with your name written all over it. Go on – get in there!

2. “Dessert? No, thanks.”
Personally, I don’t think I’ve ever said these words – at home or away. But on holiday? No way!

3. “It’s too early for cocktails.”
It’s NEVER too early for cocktails. At least, not when you’re on holiday. But back in the Real World, you should probably wait until at least the early PMs.

From now on, I refuse to drink anything that isn’t served in a coconut

4. “Another day of perfect weather and gorgeous beaches? Boooring.”
Anyone who thinks holidays are boring is doing them wrong. The key is picking the right holiday for you – whether it’s exploring the Red Centre, unwinding in Port Douglas, trekking through South America, or switching off in Phuket. Check out more of our posts for serious tripspiration.

5. “Eek! I’m running late!”
For what? You’re on holidays – a time when you get to do everything at your own pace. Put your feet up and throw your schedule away.

6. “I miss checking my emails.”

7. “I don’t have time for a post-lunch nap.”
Au contraire, my friend – you have all the time in the world. Kick back and catch some afternoon Zs.

The hammocks are calling you…

8. “Just a salad for lunch today, thanks.”
I hate to break it to you, but salad is nothing but a bunch of leaves. It has no place in any self-respecting holiday menu.

9. “I’d love a good traffic jam right now.”
If you can find me someone who genuinely enjoys being stuck in traffic for any reason, I will give you the full monetary contents of my wallet ($28.15 – a worthy bounty). One of the best things about being on holiday is not having to deal with them.

But, please – prove me wrong. I’m here. My wallet is waiting.

10. “I’ve taken enough photos.”
No, you haven’t. Even after you’ve filled five memory cards (including one that’s nothing but breakfast pics). If you didn’t take a photo, did it really happen?

11. “I should stop posting all these amazing holiday pics. They’re probably making people jealous.”
They probably are – but that’s not going to stop you. And you’ve got to do something with all those happy snaps. Go on… do some Insta-bragging.

With views like this, who wouldn’t brag?

12. “I wish I had some housework to do.”
Housework and chores are banned when you’re on holiday. I don’t think anyone’s complaining.

13. “This Hawaiian shirt is too loud.”
You’re on holiday, where bad fashion choices reign supreme. Buy that sucker and wear it with pride.

14. “Ugh! I’m so sick of sleeping in and doing whatever I want.”
Sounds terrible, doesn’t it?

15. “This scenic train ride is OK, I guess. But nothing beats peak hour on public transport.”
Bonus fun points if it’s raining (because human civilisation falls apart as soon as a little water falls from the sky). Who wouldn’t miss that? *Sarcasm*

The view from Kuranda Scenic Railway, Port Douglas. Just terrible.

16. “Another amazing view? Pass.”
There’s no getting bored of famous sites and postcard-perfect views. And there’s no limit to how many photos you can take (and share) of them, either.

17. “I don’t know. Does my niece/next-door neighbor/co-worker really need an ‘I Cairns’ pen/snow globe/T-shirt?”
There’s just something about being on holiday that makes us buy ridiculous things. And if we don’t need them, we palm them off as “gifts” to our unsuspecting friends and fam. It’s the thought that counts 😉

18. “I wish I was back at work.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… *breathes* ..ahahahahahahahahahaha!

No. No, you don’t.

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