Holidays with kids can be the best of times and the worst of times. How many of these thoughts have you had on a family holiday? It’s okay – you’re in a safe space, you can tell us.
1. “Let’s drive around Australia!”
When the holiday road trip fun goes to your head and you think about quitting your job/s and taking a year off.
2. “It’s not too late to turn this car around.”
Ah, the empty threats of road trips. Are you really going to turn the car around, drive home, unpack and… nah. Threaten to change the Wi-Fi password instead.
3. “Can you just stand still for one nice photo?”
Is one nice family shot too much to ask? Yes, it usually is. Settle for a snap of everyone asleep and photoshop them together later.
4. “Camping sucks.”
Some of us are cut out for the great outdoors, some of us aren’t. The idea is full of promise, but if you’re not up for roughing it, the reality of camping bites. Yet you still keep next year’s booking. Maybe you’ll like camping by then?
5. “Thank goodness for kids clubs.”
A well-run kids club can turn a trip into the holiday of a lifetime – for you and the kids. Fair warning, though: there will be separation anxiety. For you.
6. “Santa has a lot to answer for.”
Santa has a bad habit of forgetting to plan the covert present mission until the last minute. Then he gets carried away finding local buys to stuff the stockings. How do you think we’re getting all this stuff home, Santa?
7. “Whose towel is this?”
On holidays, towels have a life of their own. There never seem to be enough, and yet they’re everywhere. Maybe they’re hiding with the socks.
8. “Why did I bring a book?”
The definition of optimism is packing three books in your suitcase when you have three kids. Dream small and get a magazine at the airport.
9. “Have you seen the kids?”
When the kids get old enough to meet up with holiday friends and hang out without you, you can go the whole day without seeing them. Bittersweet.
10. “How did this sand get in here?”
Four months after your holiday, you’re still finding small sand piles in bags, pockets, and in the seams of clothing you didn’t even take on holidays. Why? How?
11. “No, I don’t know where your swimmers/skis/shorts/scuba things are.”
Could this be the year you teach them a lesson and follow through on not packing the kids’ bags for them? Let’s see how it pans out when they arrive with nothing more than a pair of jeans that don’t fit, a shower cap and last year’s Halloween costume.
12. “Did you put sunscreen on? Where’s your hat?”
No, that’s not a broken record. It’s you nagging people smaller than you not to get sunburnt. The price of sun-smart children is eternal vigilance.
13. “I’m the greatest parent ever.”
You organised the holiday, packed for the holiday, and deserve a little pat on the back. Even if you have to give it to yourself.
14. “I’m the worst parent ever.”
You love your kids. We love ours too. But after the 37th round of putt-putt, or the 85th “Are we there yet?” even the best of us can lose our patience. We’ve all been there, so don’t beat yourself up.
15. “Remember holidays before the kids?”
Sigh. Yes. There were more cocktails, more post-cocktail naps, and far fewer chicken nuggets. But there were also fewer water slides, cuddles, and magic family memories. We think it’s a fair trade 😉